Bernhard had an authentic fire hydrant in his apartment. The thing was battered and worn, apparently spending many years in service before he somehow procured it. But what to do with it? The thing weighed a ton, and we were on the 4th floor, and tired.
But Suna had a good idea. Put the firehydrant in your trunk. Someday, when you find that perfect parking spot, right in front of your building, when you're leaving to go wherever it is you go, put the hydrant on the sidewalk centered on your spot.
It's illegal to park in front of a hydrant, one rule most NY'ers respect. So theoretically, no one will park there. When you return, slip into your vacant, perfectly situated spot, and put the hydrant back in your trunk.